I've been thinking...

A good marriage is hard work! I don't know how to word it any other way. It's so easy to lose the way! It gets lost in child-rearing, jobs, the mundane-ness of life, the 'outside-of-the-home' responsibilities...the list goes on. We are easily offended, allowing our imagination to run away; we use the silent treatment to show our hurt. We fill our lives with 'stuff' to fill the emptiness within ourselves, or worse yet, to keep us from dealing with the issues which we 'hope will just go away'...yes, it's sooo easy to lose the way!  

I've been thinking about this a lot, mostly because of where hubs and I were at. In this past month, I heard a message on relationships within the Church but applied it to marriage because it fits well to both. Several days later a blog I follow threw this challenge out from a book he was reading...please, take the time to read it...it's worth it!

These are the points from the message:

- marriage is always at risk

- love will always be tested

- commitment goes far

- use respect

- it takes effort to keep it alive

- Satan will never let up

- my personal issues will affect others

- there is no room for personal pride in resolving issues

- focus on how to turn the 'heat' down so life can be enjoyed

- am I a builder or a destroyer, an encourager or a discourager?

- check my own spirit and let God fight the battle

None of the above are easy to do. We want so much to live out of defense instead of allowing Jesus to be our Defender. Will we always come out vindicated? No, we won't. But can we at peace with the outcome? Yes, I truly believe we can if we live in the power of the last point.

My prayer for you is...

...blessedness!

ox

the message of Easter

The First Communion Supper

And as they were eating,

Jesus took bread, blessed it and brake it,

 gave it to the disciples and said,

'Take, eat; this is my body, 

which is broken for you:

this do in remembrance of me.'

And in the same manner he took the cup, saying,

'Drink ye all of it; 

for this is my blood of the new testament,

which is shed for many for the remission of sins.' 

************************

The Cross

'Father, forgive them;

for they know not what they do.'

Jesus said unto him,

'Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.'

To his mother,

'Woman, behold the son!'

To the well-loved disciple,

'Behold thy mother!'

'My God, my God,

why have you forsaken me?'

'I thirst!'

"It is finished!'

Jesus cried with a loud voice,

'Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit,'
and gave up his spirit.

***************************

The Resurrection

It was very early in the morning when they came,

bringing sweet spices to anniont Jesus. 

But the stone was rolled away

and the tomb was empty!

The angel of the Lord,

who was sitting there, said,

'Don't be afarid,

He is not here...

He is risen!'

******************************

The Return

This story is not finished,

and the tomb is not merely empty.

Jesus went back to heaven

with a promise to come again...

this time as a Bridegroom for His Bride, the Church -

all those redeemed by the blood of the Lamb!

Jesus himself said,

'I am The Way,

I am Truth,

I am Life!'

Jesus is the reason for this season!

...blessedness!

ox

walking down memory lane...

i'm feeling reflective today,

brought about, in part, by the death of Annie,

mother of my dear friend, Rhoda.

 death has a way of putting a pause in life,

causing me...

to take a look back...

to take a look forward...

 to desire to leave a legacy behind that speaks...

to want to change today so my tomorrow

is better than my yesterday.

this week i found several cards that took me down memory lane,

 given by special people,

 who cared enough about me in the good and difficult moments of life

to give them to me.

this one was given to us on our 25th wedding anniversary

 from our oldest daughter, Judith.

by the way, we celebrated our forty-first last month... 

that opens like this...

and is tucked on a shelf in our bedroom.

this one was given many years ago from DIL Martha

where the inside says this...

'happy mother's day from one domestic goddess to another'

love it!

many years later the domestic goddesses still reign!

in fact...

by now we deserve the 'domestic goddess crown!'

the next two are from my friend, Rhoda,

who is compassionate and caring..

and who was really there for me when life was hard.

a hug from a faithful friend...

...making life sweet.

this one was given at a time when life was a dark, lonesome valley -

and all the billows and waves threatened to drown me...

but if you look closely,

there's a person standing at the door of the lighthouse,

calm, serene, safe,

 the waves couldn't touch him -

that was me.

Jesus is my Lighthouse...

forever and ever, amen!

thank you, dear friend!

in today's world of twitter and texting,

of e-mails and instant messaging,

have we lost a connection that keeps on giving

 long after the reason of why it was given?

...just wondering...

...blessedness!

ox

Kira Mary

Twelves months ago, little three year old Kira Mary

went home to be with Jesus.

Her mother, Mary Lou, was in the first Home Ec class I taught...

she was also the first of  'my girls' to get married.

Never, ever, did we know in such a short time

that death would be another 'first.'

Death was not taught in Home Ec.

Death came so sudden, so quick - it was like a bad dream.

Lying in her tiny coffin with her favorite stuffed toy snug against her face,

in a lovely dress and wrapped in a soft blanket,

it was though if you'd called her name, she'd wake up.

The past year has been a long, hard journey...

we all wanted to heal the pain for Merlin and Mary Lou,
 but no one could...
no one but God.

In June, Mary Lou and the two girls came to my house for a tea.
At first  reluctant, Marlea quickly found the playhouse to eat her ice cream cone...

and to play dress-up.

Anna played at our feet while Mary Lou and I talked about life...

and ate our dessert.

Life and death are complicated, filled with questions.

Was Kira's life wasted? Is her death wasted?

NO!

Both are a celebration...a celebration that will be complete in heaven.

A favorite bedtime song of Kira's was

'Swing Low, Sweet Chariot'.

Mary Lou, by the grace of God,

sang this song at Kira's funeral service.

She sang with grace and pain and power...

it was filled with the presence of God!

Mary Lou, I know this past year has been really, really hard,

filled with pain...

But I see God in you every time you share pieces of this pain in your blog.

You bless me with your honesty,

challenging me to honesty,

thus exalting God - be it in life or be it in death!

...blessedness!

ox

say yes when you can...

 one of the regrets i have when we were in the children-rearing era is that i was a mother of 'no'...mostly because many times it was too much bother, took too much time, too messy, etc. so i practise saying 'yes' to the grandkids whenever i can to...well...i guess to 'make up' for all the 'noes' my children had to live with.

today daughter J needed to make an quick run to our house and i kept sarah and ty while she did an errand. last week i bought these really cute, pink size 3 sandals at the GW for the girlies to play dress-up with.

 sarah enjoys clopping around the house in them (notice the heel of the sock on top? but she does dress herself!). we planned to eat lunch at friendly's so sarah asks if she can wear them there...and the first thing i said was...'no, it's too cold' but inside i was thinking...'embarrassing!'

DING-DONG!

...i did a quick reversal and said yes...

        ...such delight!

...so off we went to friendly's...

when we got there she wanted to carry grandma's purse which was nearly as long as she was tall.

...lovin' it!

...mission accomplished and at friendly's...
...and this little guy...

...after many restless nights and crying bouts...
...got his first tooth today!
...ty is 13 months old so the wait was long...

...blessedness!

ox

interesting things...

For a long while I've been wanting to give our place a name. When I started blogging I had another name for the blog but did not really like it. Suddenly, things clicked as this blog title describes my interests and our place. I will soon be doing a series of before and afters of our home, a change that transformed it - most of it simple muscle and 'elbow grease' work.

Any hoo, it suddenly dawned on me that Fleur Cottage is the perfect name of our place! Yesterday, I ordered the sign that will be placed out by the road - I am excited and pleased with the results.

- here is a copy of it -

Last autumn my neighbor up the road stopped by and asked if I'd be interested in hosting a garden tour(s) for a fund raising event for the President James Buchannan's Wheatland Garden Club (whew, long title!), with the tour book titled 'Gardens of the Susquehanna.' This tour runs from March through the end of October and the hosts choose the dates and times that fit their schedule and the best times for their gardens. My dates are one in June, two in July with one of those a twilight tour. Yesterday, the booklet came in the mail...

And lastly, I joined a writing class. Now this is a l-o-n-g-s-t-r-e-t-c-h for me! And no, I'm not writing a book! :) I simply wanted to be able to go beyond my comfort zone of writing - and last evening it did! The first instruction was to write about school recess for five minutes. Sounds simple enough...but since school wasn't a safe place for me it really wasn't a 'fun' project - though ironically, it ended by being a good thing to do, in spite of all the forgotten  memories and emotions it stirred up!

...thank you, Shawn Smucker, for making me look into a dark closet of my life...

...and ye shall know the truth,

and the truth will set you free!

                                               - Jesus -

...blessedness!

ox

Lord...

Lord, I come to you like a broken rag doll,

My dress is torn and stained

My arm is half hanging on.

My eyes aren't shining and trusting

Like they once were.

My expression isn't innocent

And transparent anymore.

I'm not the unused, brand-new ragdoll

I once was.

Yes, my smile is still there,

But not as spontaneous as it once was;

It's a little forced now...

A bit more tired.

I need to be picked up by you, Lord,

picked up...

held tightly...

loved...

and reassured.

Reassured that no matter how I look,

Or how dirty and scuffed up

and broken I am,

You love me just like when I was brand-new.

Would you please hold me, Lord?

- Robin Williams -

...blessedness!

ox

7 women

last evening, august twentyfive, two thousand nine, was a historic moment in my life. it was the last night of coming together every tuesday night for seven weeks (actually eight, counting intro night) to give our life stories and to listen to each other - to six other women who were total strangers, a place that was made safe for us to do that. it was not my first time to give my story but something special happens every time i do. we are no longer strangers but friends, special friends who are fighting a battle that includes shame and guilt and embarrassment and anger...women who through confession of the mouth, are walking toward freedom and light and hope!


seven women, seven weeks, seven stories was founded by Anne Beiler, who, because of her own painful journey, was led to bring to Lancaster County the ministry of teaching women that...

a. everyone has a story... 

b. the power to tell their story.


there were twenty eight women there, seven in each class with two facilitators. twenty eight apprehensive, scared and scarred, confused and longing to be free, women.


we began our evening with...'hello, my name is...and i am a woman of truth. tonight, i feel...' and were given a list of feelings to choose from.


we each had up to an hour to give our story with no interruptions and at the end no one was to try to 'fix' our story...ah, could we but all learn the 'art of silence!' it's powerful!


i think of Di (all names fictious) who had given her story before but never without interruption...

of Tina who came that first night with the saddest, most hopeless exression on her face but literally glowed after she gave her story.

there is Sue, feeling the enormous weight of past inherited mistakes and Carol, who feels life is a mass of confusion...

and Mary, who chose to come out on top of her circumstances...

and Lena, who came through really hard and disappointing events and still has a hard road ahead of her...



but we all have one thing in common...WE'VE BROKEN THE SILENCE!

for some, it is the first step of a thousand mile journey, but...it's a beginning to the path of freedom!  the circumstances surrounding us may or may not change, that would be nice but that really isn't the point...the point is this, it begins here...in the heart...the choice...the confession!


ladies, i salute you! all of you! i feel so blessed to have met you and your stories have impacted my life...you are special and i'll think of you often... 

...go with God!

oxs

The lazy, hazy days of summer!

i love the lazy, hazy days of summer! the rush and energy of spring is over and i can enjoy the work of that season.

to drink in the glory of the morning...

to slow down in the heat of the day...

and to treasure the evenings when the fireflies appear!

I LOVE SUMMER!

today i glanced out my kitchen window just in time to see a man on a wheel chair pushing himself on the walking track...

...i think of his bravery and persistance...

causing me to be grateful for my strong legs that carry me around to where ever i want to go!

it caused me to think about the MANY things i'm grateful for...

my health...

my lover and best friend, my husband...

my five children and their husband/wife...

my sixteen grandchildren...

my friends who encourage me...

the food on our table, the shoes on my feet, the roof i live under!

the most important thing of all...i truly am 'redeemed by grace and truth!' God's truth...God's grace

My kitchen window

Our home is across the road from a park that has a one mile walking track. There are folks who jog, walk fast, walk slow & those who run. There are folks who walk aimlessly with their heads down as though life is heavy & there are folks who walk as though with purpose.



I think how so like life that is...

I see one man whom I call The Guardian who picks up trash and lets others know that they need to clean up after themselves. How I need people in my life who tell me to 'pick up my trash.' I'm reminded when I see those who are 'meandering' to enjoy life itself. And watching those who walk with a purpose reminds me to be intentional with the things I want to do or it won't get done. And when I see those who walk with a bowed head to be a 'lifter up' to those whose life, at the moment, is hard.

Then there is the unexpectedness of life...

...because I'm still new at blogging I don't know how to delete this picture, which is on my dinning room table! Sometimes we get 'unwanted pictures' in life as well that we don't quite know what to do with!

Right outside my window is this glorious crepe myrtle...just five years old. I got it as a year end sale for a dollar - didn't know what color it was and it was just a little stick when I bought it. But I knew it had potential...isn't this a picture of us and God?

And then there's our eagle, carved out of a tree by chainsaws...reminding me that '...I can mount up with wings as an eagle, I can run and not be weary, I can walk and not faint!'