Our
cancer journey has been one of shock and hope, high expectations and dashed dreams. There have been valleys and mountain tops with...'we're going to conquer this.' Then reality set in. The
second time around, and with a knowledge of what genetic rectal colon cancer truly is, feels a whole lot different than the first diagnosis...very final and very much like a death sentence. It IS a death sentence, a 'manageable' death sentence.
Sounds harsh I know, but the reality of life is, we not born to live here forever. We're approaching Christmas when we celebrate the real reason of this season...the birth of Jesus, taking on Himself the form of humanity to GIVE His life on a cross, the cruelest of all deaths and rising from that death victorious so the
sting of death is taken away! (1Corinthians 15:54-57) THAT is our hope, a hope NO ONE can take away!
Mr D just finished six rounds of 'killer chemo' (the doctor's words) in the hopes the tumor will shrink enough to have surgery. We met with the doctor yesterday and the news was that it's still too big to remove. It was hard news to hear, though not totally unexpected. We were offered another, milder form of chemo, hoping this one would work differently...Mr D chose to say no.
He is choosing to stay under this doctor's care but will be using supplements, among a few other choices, with the doctors blessing. That feels good! It also feels scary for me because regardless of the two choices we are left with, the next step in this journey is the winter of cancer. How long this winter will be, I have no idea. I just know we're not walking it alone - we have family, friends, church, a community of believers...what more can we ask for?!
GOD IS GOOD - ALL THE TIME
We both truly believe He will bring glory to HIMSELF, whether it's through life or whether it's through death!
We enjoy our gifts to the fullest - Mr D sleeps well. He has a good appetite and his weight has stabilized. Though he tires easily, he looks well and is able to work everyday. He enjoys hunting, his favorite hobby and we're still able to travel. Yes, we treasure our gifts and thank God for them!
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I found the last of these roses yesterday so beautifully dried on the stem. Though they 'had their time,' there is beauty even in death. Death is the closing of one door and the opening of another into indescribable beauty that no one on earth has words to do it justice! Psalm 23 are not mere words - they are a PROMISE that no valley has to be feared for He is with us!