Thursday, November 15, 2012

Where We Are...

Our cancer journey has been one of shock and hope, high expectations and dashed dreams. There have been valleys and mountain tops with...'we're going to conquer this.' Then reality set in. The second time around, and with a knowledge of what genetic rectal colon cancer truly is, feels a whole lot different than the first diagnosis...very final and very much like a death sentence. It IS a death sentence, a 'manageable' death sentence.

Sounds harsh I know, but the reality of life is, we not born to live here forever. We're approaching  Christmas when we celebrate the real reason of this season...the birth of Jesus, taking on Himself the form of humanity to GIVE His life on a cross, the cruelest of all deaths and rising from that death victorious so the sting of death is taken away! (1Corinthians 15:54-57) THAT is our hope, a hope NO ONE can take away!

Mr D just finished six rounds of 'killer chemo' (the doctor's words) in the hopes the tumor will shrink enough to have surgery. We met with the doctor yesterday and the news was that it's still too big to remove. It was hard news to hear, though not totally unexpected. We were offered another, milder form of chemo, hoping this one would work differently...Mr D chose to say no.

He is choosing to stay under this doctor's care but will be using supplements, among a few other choices, with the doctors blessing. That feels good! It also feels scary for me because regardless of the two choices we are left with, the next step in this journey is the winter of cancer. How long this winter will be, I have no idea. I just know we're not walking it alone - we have family, friends, church, a community of believers...what more can we ask for?!
We both truly believe He will bring glory to HIMSELF, whether it's through life or whether it's through death!

We enjoy our gifts to the fullest - Mr D sleeps well. He has a good appetite and his weight has stabilized. Though he tires easily, he looks well and is able to work everyday. He enjoys hunting, his favorite hobby and we're still able to travel. Yes, we treasure our gifts and thank God for them!


I found the last of these roses yesterday so beautifully dried on the stem. Though they 'had their time,' there is beauty even in death. Death is the closing of one door and the opening of another into indescribable beauty that no one on earth has words to do it justice! Psalm 23 are not mere words - they are a PROMISE that no valley has to be feared for He is with us!


stefanie said...

your faith lifts me!!!!!

Kelley Highway said...

Love your timely words today. Faith, hope in Christ, and a love that never fails.



Desires of the Heart said...

Esther, So sorry that results were not what you had hoped for so many had prayed for, but God is still there working in your lives for good. Your witness is strong and such an inspiration. I will continue to pray for you both. Linda

Corn in my Coffee-Pot said...

No words of mine own--only prayers for you and yours.

The peace of the LORD Jesus Christ be with your spirit. ~Phil.4:23


Anonymous said...

I have not posted on here before but have followed you for awhile.I am a friend of your sweet daughter in law Martha.I have been praying for your husband and your family.I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.I pray the lord will bestowe his blessings on you..............Janie

Betty said...

Your grace under fire is amazing. You and your family are in my prayers.

Brenda said...

So beautifully and your family are in my prayers. I feel I know you through your blog. God is always with us.

Jena said...

Hi Esther-
I am Julia and Wayne's friend Jena from church, we met at Vern's sale this past summer...
I just want you to know that we are praying....

Kathy Shea Mormino said...

I would love it if you would join me in linking up at my weekly Clever Chicks Blog Hop:

I hope you can make it!
Kathy Shea Mormino
The Chicken Chick

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